Thursday, March 26, 2020

routines and quarantines

saturday morning | Heidi | Flickr



I've learned a great deal about myself
by spending 24 hours 7 days a week
lengthy hours into the night and
through drizzly afternoons with me

The tea is cold and
I'm less myself than ever before

I never knew quarantining in the springtime
would teach me about the way I love
the 8:35 rush out the door -
our special morning routine
that never felt so special
until today

i miss
daily classroom chatter
and the familiarity of walking up so many steps every morning
just to get to the top of our education.
I miss complaining about how hard the climb is
and you'd squeeze my hand, smile, and say
we're almost there

I thought I was resilient
and tough.
I thought natural selection would pick ME
or at least that I would pick me

But my routine must have been the very thing
strapping my life together
because now without it
I'm bare bones
and the skeleton I see in the mirror
is trying to brush her hair
get regular meals and
teach herself that its okay to try again everyday

and i just have to think that maybe
i am not the only one who
took life for granted
or can't wait to see her sister-in-law's baby bump.
who wants to scream at the top of her lungs
but knows the neighbors will hear.
who feels no privacy in this little apartment-
all eyes on us

The tea is cold and
I'm less myself than ever before

but today I think is better than yesterday
and we're picking up the pieces

How to prepare for a quarantine


1 comment:

  1. Ruby, I love this! I adore the part about how when we are more with just ourselves, we feel less like ourselves! Amazing how our routines and outside environments seem like who we are. Loved reading this, during my own quarantine. So perfect.

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