Sunday, March 29, 2015

Say hello

On Mondays I get cash flow for practicing the art of Burrito Wrapping.
Tuesdays are for thinking caps and Calculus.
Wednesdays I bowling with Priests or cut out hearts with Beehives.
Thursdays are for giving dad bear hugs and watching Cops.
Fridays are for flickering candles and the acoustic guitar.
Saturday- anything and everything goes.
Sundays I wear my heart on my sleeve and take notes. Sundays are for snuggling. Sundays are for homework due Monday. Sundays are for bloggin' and farewells and pulled pork sandwiches. 

I'm just a small town girl, livin' in a lonel--

Who are you?

Sister of 7.
Step of 2.
My thoughts are hurricanes and I landed at Lone Peak 7 months ago.
This place is a different planet and I came from Pluto: the one that doesn't count.
There's more oxygen here but less heart.

You know me as Sonny Jean.
I love the sun and the stars.
I love rodeos once a year and churros from Disneyland.
I love my mum and my dad.
I love Grandma Sonny
and Bonnie Jean.

Say goodbye to Sonny Jean.
Say hello to the real me.
Say hi to

xx

Ruby Josephine Skagerberg.




Sunday, March 22, 2015

BLIND

To try something new, I'm going to write this post with my eyes shut.
Currently, I have a Christmas themed pillowcase on my head.
I'm inside of a Christmas pillowcase with squeaky rodents like mice and squirrels on it.
They're my only company along with the voices inside my head.

My stepmom just asked me what I was doing, So i forgot where I left off.

i vow to not look until the end and make no changes. this is ironic bc I'm adding this after I finished. But really I didn't change anything. or look.

Trying something new.

You're welcome Nelson.
I'm in a pillowcase.

I am blind.

Recent events have brought me to pponder my life if I was, indeed, blind.
If I was blind,
my children would be black as night
and my husband would be too, which I wouldn'tbe upset over. ;) (smiley face)... did I hit the parenthes?

If i was blind, I would read braille, a skill thatis rare and exotic.

If i was blind, I would feel all my other senses more intensely. I thnik we could all use a little more feeling in our hearts. Especially me.

If I was blind I would eat food by how it tastes, not the way it looks. Also, maybe I would eat only until I was full and I'd lose some weight.
\
 I lost my train of thought. Thanks, Little Sister.

If I was blind, I wouldn't judge a book by it's cover.I would never judge a book by it's cover. I would judege it for the way it made me feel, what it taught me, the r rhythm of words that sink into my mind and into my heart. I would feel those words more intesely too.

I  would never no the injustice of judging another human being by their cover.

I've been the recipient of that far too many times and it would be nice tostop passing it along. No wonder blind people are more compassionate.

If I was blind, I wouldn't see how wlong her lipstick stays on, or how chiseled hismuscles are when he's "not flexing". I wouldn't have to compare myself to the girl next door, because I've always felt a little bit less than her. I wouldn't behold the glow of her tan, fresh from the Virgin Islands.

I would see how she speaks of others so generously, giving them every benefit of every doubt.

I would

Another

"why do you have a thing over your head?"


I wowould feel his his ribcage expanding and contractingas he whispers "i love you" into my ear.

I wouldhear the smart thingsshe has to say in class, not the way she looks while saying them.

I would see the things that matter.
I wouldn't be blind to the aesthetics of their soul. To the Flawlessness of their laugh.

I would behold the world through different eyes.

A set of eyes that few people on this earth get to experience.



Feel more. Do mmore.
Be blind to things that don't matter.
Don't be blind to the things that will matter when we are all old, grey, ugly, and some, literally blind.
Hm. I might keep this pillowcase on permanently. It's not too bad under here (minusall the COtwo up in here

Walkahalfmileinsomeoneelsesshoes

xx
Sonny Jean

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Fluid Feelings

And my mom is laying beside me
Worried about fixing the problem,
but as soon as she walks away,
I tremble.
It's mostly my torso quivering.
Shivering.
Trying to cage my feelings
where they belong:
in my gut.
But fluid feelings still leak
in the form of salt water
stinging my eyes
puffing them up like red balloons
in the summer.
I pull the covers over my head,
because what's coming out of my eyes
is infectious
and contagious.
One set of stinging eyes
is enough.
My heart is more sensitive than my eyes.
And these feelings erode
my eyes,
my brain,
my heart.
Erode.
Erode.
Eroding my heart.

THINGS I WANT TO DO


  • Climb a HUGE rock
  • Write a song I'm proud of
  • Throw a pie in somebody's face
  • Drink 8 oz of water/day
  • Find my happiness
  • Actually finish a book series 
  • Write more letters
  • Move out
  • Be nice to my brothers
  • Eat good food
  • Be fancy and paint my nails
  • Learn the difference between Republican and Democrat
  • Fall in love
  • Fall in love with myself
  • Grow my hair out
  • Pay someone to clean my room
  • Recieve an allowance
  • Spell Receive right the first time
  • Buy the first ticket outta here
  • Go to college
  • Pass the AP Calculus test
  • Get more sleep
  • Kiss
  • Graduate college
  • Get more sleep
  • Graduate high school
  • Belly laugh
  • Stay up late
  • Be the early bird
  • Stand out
  • Be important
  • Get paper
  • Charge my phone
  • BECOME A FAMOUS RAPPER
  • Do unto others as I would have them do unto me
  • Love my neighbor
  • Do my blogs on time

Sunday, March 1, 2015

too drained

My apologies,
I miss him and I feel a little too drained to drain anymore.

So this will be short, and swee-- maybe not so sweet.

Maybe we are all waiting for someone to read in between the lines.
Because telling others you're sad is uncomfortable
But answering questions is a bit better.

But I saw Terik the day before he left,
And his small print was way too fine to make out.
I couldn't have read in between his lines
Even if I tried,
For which there is no one to blame.

I'll try to be the person that makes others
Want to erase their fine print.
To be open, free, showing their insides, vulnerable.

We should all want that for ourselves,
For others.
So what are we waiting for?


Again, my apologies.
Love me anyway.

xx
Sonny Jean