Please don't play it safe

Love was a starlit spark on the last day of our summer.

The morning school drifted in, Love had morphed into a
stoic, foggy glance that I didn't recognize.

For quite some time, Love took a selfish vacation.
Dad told Mom to sign the papers,
and my birthday present was moving
half of my crap to the other house
and buying another set of everything
to try and make it feel sort of like home.

I didn't think Love was a cheater,
but I felt cheated.

But hey, Love rolled back in,
Like a drop of red food coloring
in a vase of pure water.
With sweeter talk and darker eyes.
Love was my first New Years Kiss
and Love snuck through my window
when no one was looking,
but climbed back out when I wasn't.
He never really came back.

But then I put love in the mirror.
Gosh, it took so much more of me than I could give,
but I fought hard to love that girl I saw.

A little bit of that love is still around somewhere.

I chased Love up the hills in the summer,
and Love played the acoustic guitar.
He walked me home while crickets sang.
Love was not who I expected,
yet so familiar.
I promised myself to steer clear, because he would be
just like the last one-- remember how
sometimes Love is ugly and knotted and accidentally unrequited?
But Love was a pair of iceberg eyes that hit me so hard,
and I was the ship
       that could never sink?
       My heart was the intoxicated captain
       that drove me straight into something I'm still trying to recover from.

But I don't mind that.
At least I am feeling.
Wrong timing,
poor placement, as long as I'm not numb,
I don't expect Love to be safe
or perfect.
I'll just keep exploring it,
running circles around it,
laughing at breakfast with it,
and kissing it hard,
because Love needs Love too.
Please don't play it safe.

xx

Sonny Jean