The poem I'll never deliver

And I hope one day
I don't see your face in every boy I meet.
Because I know in a sea of people,
You were never looking for me.

xx Sonny Jean

Trivial Pursuits

         

         Hey, Sonny Jean here. Nelson said I should make this dope, or you probably wouldn't be back. I'll try my best to make you stay.

What you see is not what you get, because you're staring into a computer screen. I am not a computer screen. I am a human being, but more than that. 
I am my thoughts.
My assumptions.
I am my excuses and reasons.
I am my questions and quirks.
Oh, and this?
This is about my parents' expectations and my bad driving record.
This is about where I go during lunch and why I don't like choosing partners.
This is about the 10% of my brain I use and how
                           half of that was destroyed
                   stressing over the ACT and                                           
             the other half
     dedicated to solving other people's problems.

This is about beginning to solve my own too. 

Like why the pages of my notebooks are full of 
                 unrequited love poems and 
                 the childhood I've nearly forgotten.
Or why I can't throw food away, or
the way I hold on to
every single note 
                ever written to me.

I am my questions, like
     Why didn't God make me a singer?
                     and
     Is ignorance really bliss?
                    
These are trivial pursuits, I tell you,
but they make up who you know as 
                       Sonny Jean.

Not a computer screen.
             
             Eyelashes;
           Lungs;
         Breath;
       Pores;
     Pupils;
   Lips.
  

xx
Sonny Jean