tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30637656167667644882024-03-13T23:46:59.447-07:00Sonny JeanSonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-67298167377350679592020-10-23T14:12:00.001-07:002020-10-23T14:18:43.055-07:00autumn, my old friend<p> a devastatingly beautiful nostalgia</p><p>washes over my mind</p><p>like the tide.</p><p>beige and blue </p><p>and my mom's eyes</p><p><br /></p><p>somehow the shadows of leaves</p><p>dancing on the wall </p><p>makes me think of the 22 autumns</p><p>I've lived before this</p><p><br /></p><p>a breeze of loneliness and of love,</p><p>innocence and the excitement of starting school</p><p>summer ended with its blazing heat.</p><p>the dew settles.</p><p><br /></p><p>the puppy at our feet </p><p>looks like a miniature version</p><p>of the dog I grew up loving.</p><p>my senses are soaked. </p><p>I hear my sister laugh.</p><p>I know I've been here before.</p><p>the wind chime </p><p>that used to dangle from the chicken coop</p><p>when I was nine</p><p>now hangs in a pear tree.</p><p>her song kept grandma Sonny company on hard days, </p><p>and now the wind sends her whirling for me, too. </p><p><br /></p><p>that fall breeze that sent my little-girl tresses spinning</p><p>calls me by name.</p><p>an old friend</p><p>who is back to check in.</p><p><br /></p><p>The shadows of the leaves on the wall -</p><p>they're gone now.</p><p>the sun tucks in with more of a hurry, </p><p>but we are starting to slow down;</p><p>syrupy sweet moments inside</p><p>with steaming soups that fog window panes</p><p>and board games that last all night.</p><p><br /></p><p>I send up a prayer </p><p>because this fall is unlike any other.</p><p>Hell is outside the window</p><p>with thirsty fires, political strife, and a toxic virus.</p><p>inside, we are safe in each other's arms. </p><p>Though the autumn leaves may burn before they fall</p><p>we will hold these walls up</p><p>as tall as they will stand.</p><p><br /></p><p>The dew is settled, as is the nostalgia</p><p>and we light a morning candle.</p><p>The fresh breath of the earth feels like a good place to start</p><p>in trying to sort out whats real</p><p>and what's not. </p><p><br /></p><p>Happy Autumn, all. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-46541142105833605622020-04-19T17:05:00.000-07:002020-04-19T17:05:13.966-07:00A note on Julia ChildYesterday I watched the film <i>Julie & Julia. It </i>inspired and delighted me. It resonated. I felt validated. <div>
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Julia Child - I've flipped through her cookbooks at the library. They have been recommended to me. However, I never knew <i>her</i>. And now I feel like I do. She was colorful and lively, she was thrilled with her life - her sweet husband, her home, her tallness - all of it. She reminds me of my grandma Tiger - always with a sparkle in her eye. The audacity to be content in a world full of rat races appeals to me. Julia walked through life joyful, yet honest. She wanted kids, but didn't have any. She wanted to stay in France, but her husband was transferred. When she wanted to learn to cook, she could barely boil an egg, but she pushed forward anyway. She was an optimistic queen who loved despite her struggles.</div>
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I adored everything about the film. The cooking, being in France, her being 6'2" and not looking like all of the other petites around her. She didn't care. She didn't shrink for anyone - and in turn, everyone loved her for it. She gave me an idea of who I'd like to be.</div>
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I want to inch toward her mindset. I want life in its various facets to be mine, to satisfy and challenge, to delight and test me. I want to be brave enough to be myself, and I don't want to compare myself to the petites around me. I want to be like Julia Child. And I want to cook more. One journalist said that one of Julia Child's greatest contribution to cooking was "freeing Americans from the necessity of cooking for a purpose other than pleasure." YES! I have always had a yearning for the simple things, a fresh pot of chicken broth, a vase of colorful flowers, hearty artisan bread dipped in vinegar and oil, the sunrise casting light on a wood floor. Those things carry memories with them, and those memories carry me.<br />
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This summer will be the perfect time to excel in the cooking sphere because I have my own Julia Child who will be living upstairs - my mother-in-law V-. She went to culinary arts school in 2008, and never prepares a dull plate. There is always some element of sparkle and pizazz, whether its the aged cheese she used in the alfredo sauce, or the garden cucumbers bathed in vinegar and dill, dipped in homemade hummus.<br />
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I want to devote time this summer to cooking. I want to make it second nature before we have kiddos and my bandwidth shrinks down. I want to cook like Julia, never getting uptight about the kitchen's demands. Just growing as I go, and doing it for the pleasure. I have heard my women professors talk about how they think being in the kitchen is a waste of time, they'd rather be somewhere else. They might think that, but I don't have to. I was raised on meals from scratch, because that is what we could afford in a household of ten, and to me, that is magic. Family time, eating together, and made with love. So cheers to a summer of gathering veggies from the garden, using more butter, and delighting in the day-to-day. Let's go!<br />
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<a href="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3a/Julia_Child_portrait_by_%C2%A9Lynn_Gilbert%2C_1978.jpg/220px-Julia_Child_portrait_by_%C2%A9Lynn_Gilbert%2C_1978.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Julia Child - Wikipedia" border="0" src="https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/3/3a/Julia_Child_portrait_by_%C2%A9Lynn_Gilbert%2C_1978.jpg/220px-Julia_Child_portrait_by_%C2%A9Lynn_Gilbert%2C_1978.jpg" /></a></div>
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Julia in the kitchen</div>
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Julia and her husband arriving in France</div>
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Trying oysters while cruising the Parisian street markets</div>
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Taking a springtime walk through the park</div>
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Gathering cooking supplies for her cookbook project</div>
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Sources: <a href="https://slate.com/human-interest/2004/08/six-recipes-julia-child-would-want-you-to-cook.html">https://slate.com/human-interest/2004/08/six-recipes-julia-child-would-want-you-to-cook.html</a></div>
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Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-43202291000344375682020-03-26T18:03:00.000-07:002020-03-26T18:03:26.345-07:00routines and quarantines<img alt="saturday morning | Heidi | Flickr" src="https://i.pinimg.com/564x/b8/2a/cf/b82acfc50a26290625170d934636ca78.jpg" /><br />
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I've learned a great deal about myself<br />
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by spending 24 hours 7 days a week</div>
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lengthy hours into the night and</div>
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through drizzly afternoons with me</div>
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<br />
The tea is cold and<br />
I'm less myself than ever before<br />
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I never knew quarantining in the springtime</div>
<div>
would teach me about the way I love<br />
the 8:35 rush out the door -<br />
our special morning routine<br />
that never felt so special<br />
until today<br />
<br />
i miss<br />
daily classroom chatter<br />
and the familiarity of walking up so many steps every morning<br />
just to get to the top of our education.<br />
I miss complaining about how hard the climb is<br />
and you'd squeeze my hand, smile, and say<br />
we're almost there<br />
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<div>
I thought I was resilient</div>
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and tough.</div>
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I thought natural selection would pick ME</div>
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or at least that <b>I</b> would pick me<br />
<br />
But my routine must have been the very thing<br />
strapping my life together<br />
because now without it<br />
I'm bare bones<br />
and the skeleton I see in the mirror<br />
is trying to brush her hair<br />
get regular meals and<br />
teach herself that its okay to try again everyday<br />
<br />
and i just have to think that maybe<br />
i am not the only one who<br />
took life for granted<br />
or can't wait to see her sister-in-law's baby bump.<br />
who wants to scream at the top of her lungs<br />
but knows the neighbors will hear.<br />
who feels no privacy in this little apartment-<br />
all eyes on us<br />
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The tea is cold and<br />
I'm less myself than ever before<br />
<br />
but today I think is better than yesterday<br />
and we're picking up the pieces<br />
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<img alt="How to prepare for a quarantine" src="https://i.pinimg.com/564x/6a/c0/5a/6ac05a0502166aa7633fb324333a5a90.jpg" /><br />
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Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-75413145641389057042020-03-19T08:18:00.005-07:002020-03-26T18:05:58.510-07:00"2021 will be our year" - a list of strange happenings of 2020Weird things that have happened since the New Year:<br />
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<ul>
<li>Renowned NBA star <b>Kobe Bryant</b> and his daughter <b>died</b> in a tragic helicopter accident one foggy Sunday morning</li>
<li>That same, day, M- got <b>engaged</b> to a girl he <b>met on mutual</b> (maybe) two months prior</li>
<li>M- and K- <b>eloped</b> in the Provo City Courthouse <b>3 weeks after becoming engaged</b></li>
<li><b>Trump </b>was <b>impeached, </b>but later acquitted by the senate</li>
<li>Coronavirus was declared a <b>pandemic</b> after sweeping across China, Italy, and planting seeds across every other place in the world</li>
<li>The <b>lines at Costco</b> are longer than general admission concert lines and the only <b>toilet paper</b> you can find anywhere is the Chinese stuff off of Amazon</li>
<li>BYU from one moment to the next, has <b>transitioned fully online</b> for the rest of the semester and encouraged its students to travel home to be with family</li>
<li><b>Church meetings</b> are <b>cancelled</b> until further notice and temples are closed</li>
<li>V- discovered from a woman's ex-husband that <b>J- had an affair</b> with his ex-wife, and he laid out a timeline for her in extensive detail, with <b>receipts of text messages</b> and secretly recorded conversations</li>
<li>Maja, my best friend practically in the world, <b>shaved her head</b> - something she has craved doing for years now. We are all glad she <b>followed her heart</b> <3 - not weird, just mentionable</li>
<li>Yesterday morning, Utah had its biggest <b>earthquake</b> since 1992; a 5.7 on the richter scale</li>
<li>We are <b>living in a self-quarantine</b> to slow the spread of COVID-19 - that way we won't have to be on a government-mandated quarantine. Cabin fever grows each day.</li>
</ul>
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- As of Thursday, March 19, 2020</div>
Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-5030906428783668522015-04-30T20:29:00.003-07:002015-04-30T20:32:10.103-07:00not for the books<i>Performed at Speak For Yourself:</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Not for the Books</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Welcome to school!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Day one:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Halls riddled with talk of summer vacation</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and the smell of brand new clothes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Winter crept in and we were halfway done</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">99 football jerseys,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">12 bad breakups,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">2 english classes later,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">we are on the home stretch.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">In 35 days we will be far from here.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And it won't be long before even the echoes of my name disappear.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Tomorrow I'll be gone</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and soon after, forgotten.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The hallways will no longer carry the weight of my footsteps.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The mirrors will not remember my reflection.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">My name will be stripped from the honor roll to make room for next year's</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and soon after,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">we will be forgotten.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I don't care to be remembered.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">This is not for any legacy I want to leave.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I'm not trying to make you shout my name to the sky or write it in the stars.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">This is not because I never made it to the front row of the student section,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and this is not because I've had my heart broken.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Twice.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Three times.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I'll be the first to admit, I am not a legacy leaver.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I didn't come expecting to change Lone Peak forever,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">but I've got a few things to say.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I think we're all waiting for someone to read in between the lines.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"How are you?" is still waiting for a response other than "good".</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So I'll try-- I'll try-- to be the person that makes everyone erase their fine print.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Lets pick up the small talk and throw it out the window.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Shatter every glass wall put up by high schoolers who feel small.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Show each other that bridges are meant to be walked on.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Not burned.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">That you, and me, and he will never be the same.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">But we were never meant to be.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So hold up your white flag</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and surrender your heart,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">to show people you have one.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And just because the knight in the commons can't call you by name,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">there's more to this story than that.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">xx Sonny Jean and Avery Moon</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">(AKA Ruby and Whitney Porter)</span>Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-91497055688177035522015-04-26T22:28:00.002-07:002015-04-30T20:32:33.599-07:00so mine won't stop beating<br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">There's a stream of young love crawling through my brain cells and this is a parasitic relationship. It feeds off me and I just get sicker, see, my instagram feed is starving my heart. But I stare. I scroll. I stare. I scroll. I starve, and there's not enough soul to pass around the table so I spoon it into the mouth of those I love, because I know what it's like not to feel that. I sit hunched like a bow and arrow, done being pulled back, hoping to fly soon. And maybe this time Cupid will have something to do with it. But my spine is close to snapping and so is my heart.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So I hear that if two hearts are pressed together for long enough they pulse together, so maybe you will let mine catch up with yours. Then we can talk about more than the weather, like how your family is and what I missed when we were apart. But your guard is so high and I haven't even passed the bridge over the moat filled with words we never said. Saying them is one thing and thinking them is another. You never did either of those and I was always the one who gave it my all so you didn't have to. We're dipping our toes in quick sand and heaven knows we won't end up in the same world when we sink. You're on one page and I'm on another and we aren't even in the same library, darling.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> But that never stopped me from trying. Trying til my bones burst with love for your eyes, clearer than the rarest diamond. Your hands more tender than rain drizzling on hot shoulders. There aren't many things that turn me cold but late night strolls with you are one and I don't think it was the moon blowing chills down my neck. I told you I loved you. I sat like a puddle at your feet, waiting for you to finger paint your skin with my pigment and revel in how beautiful we were together, but no. You put on your rain boots and splashed my pain all over the concrete. You were simply having fun on a rainy day. Childish was your game and guys have always been better at sports. My hand-eye coordination has never been sensational, but I'm good enough to catch a hint. Not strong enough to follow it. See it's hard to convince the brain that this is just friends, because "just friends" have never stared at each other that long and "just friends" don't feel adrenaline when their noses are close enough to touch but just shy enough not to. So sorry for misplacing the hint you dropped.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> But this time is different. I'm taking this, along with every song about someone else, every Sunday night, every meal that was never a date, and keeping that in its place-- the past. We can move forward together, but this time not hand in hand. Love has no boundaries but sometimes there are war zones that scream Do Not Enter and now we know where those lie: In each vein and artery of those who feel love as unrequited; who grow anxious over the long stream of boys and girls in love, wondering if that will ever be them. So let my heart grow close to yours, and this time it's only so mine won't stop beating.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">xx Sonny Jean</span><br />
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Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-31667015409748669562015-04-21T22:24:00.002-07:002015-04-21T22:24:14.303-07:00I remember...<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember Spring Break 2k15 and not writing one blog post.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember the dream I had last night. My 52-year-old mom was pregnant</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember wishing I could smash every mirror I looked into.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember when Lil Wayne was my hero and I was thirteen-year-old thug</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember family reunions on the beach. Now everyone is a little too busy to get buried in the sand.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember begging mom for a small dog. I had saved an entire $100.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember my first B. Calculus last quarter.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember when dad and mom sat the kids down. Dad was crying and petting the dog like it would be the last time. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember the time I told my mom she seemed to have grown a mustache. She replied with a passive aggressive "Well isn't that swell, Ruby."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember swimsuit shopping and how much I still hate it. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember getting pinkeye and looking like an alien when I woke. My eyes have never felt the same.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember my second day at Lone Peak High School. I never really grew fond of B-days after all.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember watching Full House and mom walking in on a sexy part. "It's not usually like this, I swear!"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember my first kiss. We had just swapped silly bands and I had on my fave Bob Marley tee.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember when I dropped my baby sister. I blame the babysitter. I had roller blades on, hello!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember dating a loser. He still is one, even more so. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember the Nintendo 64 and GameCube. Straight G.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember when my big sister ran away with a pack of cigs and a small green backpack. She always had the essentials ready to go: black makeup and a fresh pair o' undies. (a rain poncho too, duh)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember inadequacy.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember devastation.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember wishing I could have Tina Fey's humor and Kylie Jenners' lips. Still do (duh).</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember being pissed that he held hand with another chick. Not cool, dude. I wish I'd just forget it.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember being in the friendzone (yay! ain't it fun?)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember each time someone didn't give me the time of day because of my appearance. It never occurred to me people could be that shallow until I came to good ole LP. We notice, people. (i still love LP,and you k, whatever.)</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember cheering on the Ragnar runners at 3 in the morning.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember drill team, 6 am practices, ugly AF wigs, and never winning first place.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember running cross country and always winning last place!</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember taking first in the 100 free in my heat. Girls swim took state that year. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember when my pet snake bit me. I felt like Kissin' Kate Barlow off of Holes, when she lets the yellow spotted lizards devour her.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember screaming and crying when I discovered Terik had left. I remember finding out how he did it.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I remember the fear of forgetting my life and what has happened. How much does it all really matter?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I wish I remembered more.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-90009551923020530812015-03-29T22:05:00.001-07:002015-03-29T22:05:14.934-07:00Say helloOn Mondays I get cash flow for practicing the art of Burrito Wrapping.<br />
<div>
Tuesdays are for thinking caps and Calculus.</div>
<div>
Wednesdays I bowling with Priests or cut out hearts with Beehives.</div>
<div>
<div>
Thursdays are for giving dad bear hugs and watching Cops.</div>
<div>
Fridays are for flickering candles and the acoustic guitar.</div>
<div>
Saturday- anything and everything goes.</div>
<div>
Sundays I wear my heart on my sleeve and take notes. Sundays are for snuggling. Sundays are for homework due Monday. Sundays are for bloggin' and farewells and pulled pork sandwiches. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm just a small town girl, livin' in a lonel--</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Who are you?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sister of 7.</div>
<div>
Step of 2.</div>
<div>
My thoughts are hurricanes and I landed at Lone Peak 7 months ago.</div>
<div>
This place is a different planet and I came from Pluto: the one that doesn't count.<br />
There's more oxygen here but less heart.<br />
<br />You know me as Sonny Jean.<br />
I love the sun and the stars.<br />
I love rodeos once a year and churros from Disneyland.<br />
I love my mum and my dad.<br />
I love Grandma Sonny<br />
and Bonnie Jean.<br />
<br />
Say goodbye to Sonny Jean.<br />
Say hello to the real me.<br />
Say hi to<br />
<br />
xx<br />
<br />
Ruby Josephine Skagerberg.<br />
<br />
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Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-60436079197132214072015-03-22T20:58:00.000-07:002015-03-22T20:58:08.218-07:00 BLINDTo try something new, I'm going to write this post with my eyes shut.<div>
Currently, I have a Christmas themed pillowcase on my head.</div>
<div>
I'm inside of a Christmas pillowcase with squeaky rodents like mice and squirrels on it.</div>
<div>
They're my only company along with the voices inside my head.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
My stepmom just asked me what I was doing, So i forgot where I left off.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
i vow to not look until the end and make no changes. this is ironic bc I'm adding this after I finished. But really I didn't change anything. or look.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Trying something new.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You're welcome Nelson.</div>
<div>
I'm in a pillowcase.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I am blind.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Recent events have brought me to pponder my life if I was, indeed, blind.</div>
<div>
If I was blind,</div>
<div>
my children would be black as night</div>
<div>
and my husband would be too, which I wouldn'tbe upset over. ;) (smiley face)... did I hit the parenthes?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If i was blind, I would read braille, a skill thatis rare and exotic.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If i was blind, I would feel all my other senses more intensely. I thnik we could all use a little more feeling in our hearts. Especially me.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If I was blind I would eat food by how it tastes, not the way it looks. Also, maybe I would eat only until I was full and I'd lose some weight.</div>
<div>
\</div>
<div>
I lost my train of thought. Thanks, Little Sister.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If I was blind, I wouldn't judge a book by it's cover.I would never judge a book by it's cover. I would judege it for the way it made me feel, what it taught me, the r rhythm of words that sink into my mind and into my heart. I would feel those words more intesely too.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I would never no the injustice of judging another human being by their cover.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I've been the recipient of that far too many times and it would be nice tostop passing it along. No wonder blind people are more compassionate.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
If I was blind, I wouldn't see how wlong her lipstick stays on, or how chiseled hismuscles are when he's "not flexing". I wouldn't have to compare myself to the girl next door, because I've always felt a little bit less than her. I wouldn't behold the glow of her tan, fresh from the Virgin Islands.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I would see how she speaks of others so generously, giving them every benefit of every doubt.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I would</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Another</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"why do you have a thing over your head?"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I wowould feel his his ribcage expanding and contractingas he whispers "i love you" into my ear.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I wouldhear the smart thingsshe has to say in class, not the way she looks while saying them.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I would see the things that matter.</div>
<div>
I wouldn't be blind to the aesthetics of their soul. To the Flawlessness of their laugh.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I would behold the world through different eyes.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A set of eyes that few people on this earth get to experience.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Feel more. Do mmore.</div>
<div>
Be blind to things that don't matter.</div>
<div>
Don't be blind to the things that will matter when we are all old, grey, ugly, and some, literally blind.</div>
<div>
Hm. I might keep this pillowcase on permanently. It's not too bad under here (minusall the COtwo up in here</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Walkahalfmileinsomeoneelsesshoes</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
xx</div>
<div>
Sonny Jean</div>
Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-59453139029743181752015-03-19T20:32:00.001-07:002015-03-19T20:32:32.391-07:00Fluid Feelings<div style="text-align: center;">
And my mom is laying beside me</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Worried about fixing the problem,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but as soon as she walks away,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I tremble.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It's mostly my torso quivering.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Shivering.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Trying to cage my feelings</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
where they belong:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
in my gut.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But fluid feelings still leak</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
in the form of salt water</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
stinging my eyes</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
puffing them up like red balloons</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
in the summer.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I pull the covers over my head,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
because what's coming out of my eyes</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
is infectious</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and contagious.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
One set of stinging eyes</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
is enough.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My heart is more sensitive than my eyes.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And these feelings erode</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
my eyes,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
my brain,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
my heart.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Erode.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Erode.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Eroding my heart.</div>
Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-53624795118430483992015-03-19T20:18:00.001-07:002015-03-19T20:18:05.565-07:00THINGS I WANT TO DO<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Climb a HUGE rock</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Write a song I'm proud of</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Throw a pie in somebody's face</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Drink 8 oz of water/day</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Find my happiness</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Actually finish a book series </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Write more letters</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Move out</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Be nice to my brothers</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Eat good food</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Be fancy and paint my nails</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Learn the difference between Republican and Democrat</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Fall in love</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Fall in love with myself</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Grow my hair out</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Pay someone to clean my room</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Recieve an allowance</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Spell Receive right the first time</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Buy the first ticket outta here</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Go to college</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Pass the AP Calculus test</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Get more sleep</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Kiss</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Graduate college</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Get more sleep</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Graduate high school</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Belly laugh</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Stay up late</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Be the early bird</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Stand out</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Be important</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Get paper</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Charge my phone</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">BECOME A FAMOUS RAPPER</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Do unto others as I would have them do unto me</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Love my neighbor</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Do my blogs on time</span></li>
</ul>
Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-63445513283100599702015-03-01T21:13:00.002-08:002015-03-01T21:13:25.417-08:00too drainedMy apologies,<br />
I miss him and I feel a little too drained to drain anymore.<br />
<br />
So this will be short, and swee-- maybe not so sweet.<br />
<br />
Maybe we are all waiting for someone to read in between the lines.<br />
Because telling others you're sad is uncomfortable<br />
But answering questions is a bit better.<br />
<br />
But I saw Terik the day before he left,<br />
And his small print was way too fine to make out.<br />
I couldn't have read in between his lines<br />
Even if I tried,<br />
For which there is no one to blame.<br />
<br />
I'll try to be the person that makes others<br />
Want to erase their fine print.<br />
To be open, free, showing their insides, vulnerable.<br />
<br />
We should all want that for ourselves,<br />
For others.<br />
So what are we waiting for?<br />
<br />
<br />
Again, my apologies.<br />
Love me anyway.<br />
<br />
xx<br />
Sonny Jean<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-63302604231292552132015-02-22T21:01:00.000-08:002015-02-22T21:01:03.287-08:00Bricks: inspired by CJ <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVf6GJ9r3ZOsjUm4iLjyTpYslBLkkYaqa4I0K-8S_J7NxeMeMlorcGLCvxfZXzzf4iWV5PQ5mhkAQF9FRYxzjNcVgfcZDJS7s9dITf78HShxVCOJSD1qNnVxZbzYIdC9nfecon549E1iQ/s1600/bricks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVf6GJ9r3ZOsjUm4iLjyTpYslBLkkYaqa4I0K-8S_J7NxeMeMlorcGLCvxfZXzzf4iWV5PQ5mhkAQF9FRYxzjNcVgfcZDJS7s9dITf78HShxVCOJSD1qNnVxZbzYIdC9nfecon549E1iQ/s1600/bricks.jpg" height="256" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Look at this collection I've got:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">A brick from the wrinkled picture in my wallet</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">and another for the song he's singing right now.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I got this brick from the words I was unprepared to say,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">and two bricks for the time I said way too much.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">A brick from our trip to cobblestone streets and pubs</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">and a brick for the strings on my guitar.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">This one is from my mum's wide grin</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">and thoughts of Prom floating around in our heads.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Lies floating around our hearts. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I've gathered bricks from lonely limbs</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">and peanut butter honey toast.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">This brick is from surfing with my dad</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">and standing up to him too.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I've got a nice collection, you see.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">But the bulldozers headed over.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">So stay out of the bricks, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">you belong somewhere else,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">somewhere special.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Don't just be another brick. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">xx</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Sonny Jean</span></div>
<br />
<br />Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-45948072363634075832015-02-22T09:30:00.001-08:002015-02-22T09:30:25.832-08:00he and her. look at that.<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I see the way he looks at her.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And if his sight could stretch 700 miles,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I know he'd still have that derpy look on his face.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">But when he closes his eyes, he can see her.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">He sees her laying on her back, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">strumming chords,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">singing hallelujah.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">He sees her.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiknNdOHBE6hzwZ6p-ZPKjiKsKvglc5Qc7mLd0-kMoLjcVfVKpoabNgFq1BcrjCy_dPft-7Lq1uYyBFtnlUIrb810VG2odz7-eFaJ2xdUIrXcb8zG8BsThLIi_E5_UFatPKaAh9deRY98/s1600/girl+guitar.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiknNdOHBE6hzwZ6p-ZPKjiKsKvglc5Qc7mLd0-kMoLjcVfVKpoabNgFq1BcrjCy_dPft-7Lq1uYyBFtnlUIrb810VG2odz7-eFaJ2xdUIrXcb8zG8BsThLIi_E5_UFatPKaAh9deRY98/s1600/girl+guitar.jpeg" height="320" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She sees him walking foreign hallways,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">with perfect strangers,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">head down,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">thinking of her. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She sees him.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And boy, when he talks about her</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">it's like she hand-stitched the galaxy,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">or at least illustrated theirs.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">He marvels at her eyes when she's upset</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and drowns in them when she sings,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">because paying attention to anything but her</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">when they're side-by-side</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">would be nothing short of a miracle.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">He's got a past and she's out of his league,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">but they've been friends since 4th grade.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Best friends since 6th.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And said goodbye in 9th.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">But they knew it was more of a see-you-soon,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">call-me-when-you-land-in-Utah, type of deal.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkErWCPb0MwtihZz6sJIaRet_pWwQgy1xffV5fRo7h-t0l2sOVAJMcIxjjbhsUxPJjofu3eL6I92RioGTedT_iOP4Xm4n5R5Acj8Wh0VXSHaNFNaydK9CMuceC_3ZscMotjgrjjfNnMEI/s1600/hugging+goodbye+gif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkErWCPb0MwtihZz6sJIaRet_pWwQgy1xffV5fRo7h-t0l2sOVAJMcIxjjbhsUxPJjofu3eL6I92RioGTedT_iOP4Xm4n5R5Acj8Wh0VXSHaNFNaydK9CMuceC_3ZscMotjgrjjfNnMEI/s1600/hugging+goodbye+gif.gif" height="145" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">They're not even together, but he'll</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">buy the first ticket to wherever she is--</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">All she has to do is say the words.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">She's the first 12 lines in </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">every journal entry and </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">he's her back scratch in church</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and chicken noodle soup on a sick day.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">I don't know if they've ever kissed,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">but their words have touched enough to</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">mean something,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">and their hands have held </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">long enough to feel it too.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And who said love means kissing?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX0sqZ4TleOU-YfOL4r6HhCGr9-przHZKGkuKFCXTTPxd0zHdH-KTkBryX6LFNC-5aDoOHGawywKujZnLgVLyP_RXPQH8F4P-4nJkxO9HABSJ1cg9X3a60sn2oChpYjPpqcJ0Wrzg-ua4/s1600/holding+hands+gif-1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgX0sqZ4TleOU-YfOL4r6HhCGr9-przHZKGkuKFCXTTPxd0zHdH-KTkBryX6LFNC-5aDoOHGawywKujZnLgVLyP_RXPQH8F4P-4nJkxO9HABSJ1cg9X3a60sn2oChpYjPpqcJ0Wrzg-ua4/s1600/holding+hands+gif-1.gif" height="177" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And to think this could be me and you.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">xx</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Sonny Jean</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-34074447282734270622015-02-15T23:09:00.002-08:002015-02-15T23:09:49.617-08:00Please don't play it safe<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4QksloGD8aLZiklTUXtSyUwrnCk9PX8u_rmDtxS_Vv39UhM0Hm3PMsCs5XRE37TUyEYJYaJZkUQ5r3guukwCl4m3WnYNc4G_U8jxRgsnSQjv4RqzMKQja8xZFz3MHmzekf4dzDP8FVp4/s1600/tumblr_niennotVvC1tdetyio1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4QksloGD8aLZiklTUXtSyUwrnCk9PX8u_rmDtxS_Vv39UhM0Hm3PMsCs5XRE37TUyEYJYaJZkUQ5r3guukwCl4m3WnYNc4G_U8jxRgsnSQjv4RqzMKQja8xZFz3MHmzekf4dzDP8FVp4/s1600/tumblr_niennotVvC1tdetyio1_500.jpg" height="320" width="180" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Love was a starlit spark on the last day of our summer.<br />
<br />
The morning school drifted in, Love had morphed into a<br />
stoic, foggy glance that I didn't recognize.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMM9vwmM4lrMR07u9dJAxGSaanOoGO7Nw9fl-B-dkx4DckPaANtKm47ibpCAY_jdMlgvo71g5lk75GHGTte8Q6E1sqC_BzxKY2__YkGVRToHfN3iRTyvmnIN9YsfyD3yucPmqwGGE06uo/s1600/tumblr_niz8mk3dL41r80ravo1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMM9vwmM4lrMR07u9dJAxGSaanOoGO7Nw9fl-B-dkx4DckPaANtKm47ibpCAY_jdMlgvo71g5lk75GHGTte8Q6E1sqC_BzxKY2__YkGVRToHfN3iRTyvmnIN9YsfyD3yucPmqwGGE06uo/s1600/tumblr_niz8mk3dL41r80ravo1_500.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
For quite some time, Love took a selfish vacation.<br />
Dad told Mom to sign the papers,<br />
and my birthday present was moving<br />
half of my crap to the other house<br />
and buying another set of everything<br />
to try and make it feel sort of like home.<br />
<br />
I didn't think Love was a cheater,<br />
but I felt cheated.<br />
<br />
But hey, Love rolled back in,<br />
Like a drop of red food coloring<br />
in a vase of pure water.<br />
With sweeter talk and darker eyes.<br />
Love was my first New Years Kiss<br />
and Love snuck through my window<br />
when no one was looking,<br />
but climbed back out when I wasn't.<br />
He never really came back.<br />
<br />
But then I put love in the mirror.<br />
Gosh, it took so much more of me than I could give,<br />
but I fought hard to love that girl I saw.<br />
<br />
A little bit of that love is still around somewhere.<br />
<br />
I chased Love up the hills in the summer,<br />
and Love played the acoustic guitar.<br />
He walked me home while crickets sang.<br />
Love was not who I expected,<br />
yet so familiar.<br />
I promised myself to steer clear, because he would be<br />
just like the last one-- remember how<br />
sometimes Love is ugly and knotted and accidentally unrequited?<br />
But Love was a pair of iceberg eyes that hit me so hard,<br />
and I was the ship<br />
that could never sink?<br />
My heart was the intoxicated captain<br />
that drove me straight into something I'm still trying to recover from.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVwV6o_WbrWXMPrEdNSJlV7S9UaMl7v_pQZlDIe4jnNB3Ckrmd77Xctdoc9IZTi6NrVtvZX1ju0hy4ZEcT8wOIkhc-2KdqZSpgD7kxnB5G4B78hUulzjsviCuG7RtkcdMT_S656_ORELc/s1600/tumblr_ndkhgveZRs1r5h1aro1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVwV6o_WbrWXMPrEdNSJlV7S9UaMl7v_pQZlDIe4jnNB3Ckrmd77Xctdoc9IZTi6NrVtvZX1ju0hy4ZEcT8wOIkhc-2KdqZSpgD7kxnB5G4B78hUulzjsviCuG7RtkcdMT_S656_ORELc/s1600/tumblr_ndkhgveZRs1r5h1aro1_500.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
But I don't mind that.<br />
At least I am feeling.<br />
Wrong timing,<br />
poor placement, as long as I'm not numb,<br />
I don't expect Love to be safe<br />
or perfect.<br />
I'll just keep exploring it,<br />
running circles around it,<br />
laughing at breakfast with it,<br />
and kissing it hard,<br />
because Love needs Love too.<br />
Please don't play it safe.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
xx</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sonny Jean</div>
Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-14371470602729051622015-02-15T22:59:00.001-08:002015-02-15T22:59:08.837-08:00A few thoughts. Two actually.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnEltFyDZCZnJ64vuhi8u8PH4V_JBklRGMMMHg5pQhkV9jCPuoxN7_Q_XsT4pyvFiJyo9_SMREEv0uJUZHJuVaVBFNqNcRKscXi3X6bvGqoJZYuCN-Qeu0t8_HMFRhQPwAydEOMGcDMjQ/s1600/tumblr_njs32qByTc1r69eh7o2_400.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnEltFyDZCZnJ64vuhi8u8PH4V_JBklRGMMMHg5pQhkV9jCPuoxN7_Q_XsT4pyvFiJyo9_SMREEv0uJUZHJuVaVBFNqNcRKscXi3X6bvGqoJZYuCN-Qeu0t8_HMFRhQPwAydEOMGcDMjQ/s1600/tumblr_njs32qByTc1r69eh7o2_400.gif" /></a></div>
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.. And I like that about you.</div>
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xx</div>
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Sonny Jean</div>
<br />Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-60389826398080640502015-02-08T19:09:00.002-08:002015-02-08T19:10:09.540-08:00breathe me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Breathe in.<br />
<br />
Breathe out.<br />
<br />
Breathe in.<br />
<br />
Breathe out.<br />
<br />
Am I not a robot?<br />
<br />
It's not that simple.<br />
<br />
It's more like b-b-breeea-thhe in.<br />
And a sharp, short <i>HUH </i>out.<br />
<br />
You gave me butterflies--<br />
Knocked the wind out of me--<br />
<br />
And my heart went ba-ba-boom<br />
ba-boom<br />
ba-ba-ba-boom.<br />
Ticking off rhythm.<br />
<br />
A robot's heart wouldn't create that speed-to-stop-to-slow-melody with an anatomical beater.<br />
It can't create something that soulful-- that incredible.<br />
<br />
But-but-but-then again, butterflies are a fight-or-flight response.<br />
<br />
I think a robot would be programmed to fight or flight.<br />
<br />
Am I not a robot? Hm.<br />
<br />
I bleed, but I can fix it myself.<br />
<br />
Show me robot who can heal on its own.<br />
<br />
I can heal on my own.<br />
<br />
Like, leave me alone; I'll deal.<br />
<br />
A robot wouldn't say that either.<br />
<br />
Someone else would decide their fate for them.<br />
<br />
I'm not a robot.<br />
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xx</div>
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Sonny Jean</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeCXwmOoRNYjQLOvB-LL3yqc4wq__fGeS_6q5YVPnc6Hyt7DpV3J2vicQbzsuZC4Z8P3rKzwi5Er3CWaveibM_XCR1vqDy46PSQRTPvrH7oYtZnhpMi1txI7kJSlnPA5BXaY1B4Dtp0WU/s1600/Anatomical+heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeCXwmOoRNYjQLOvB-LL3yqc4wq__fGeS_6q5YVPnc6Hyt7DpV3J2vicQbzsuZC4Z8P3rKzwi5Er3CWaveibM_XCR1vqDy46PSQRTPvrH7oYtZnhpMi1txI7kJSlnPA5BXaY1B4Dtp0WU/s1600/Anatomical+heart.jpg" height="400" width="270" /></a></div>
Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-33981649459253494672015-02-08T14:59:00.001-08:002015-02-08T14:59:22.962-08:00Like a Polaroid<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Like a Polaroid picture,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Parts of your heart appear gradually </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">as time goes on.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Each line crisper,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">emotion clearer.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">A beautiful clarity comes</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">when I discover the unknown parts </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">that I've been holding </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">in the palm of my hand </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">this entire time.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">And as more is revealed,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">it continues to shine.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Forever remaining</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">in the palm of my hand.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">xx</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Sonny Jean </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-33754328340627445662015-02-01T21:20:00.002-08:002015-02-01T21:20:54.761-08:00A Snowman in JuneMy therapist gave me a black paper, white crayon.<div>
I was 7.</div>
<div>
I had a therapist. </div>
<div>
I drew a snowman in June.</div>
<div>
SHE TOLD ME TO DRAW WHATEVER I FELT.</div>
<div>
But when I drew a snowman, she looked at me funny and said,</div>
<div>
"The season's a little off, don't ya think?"</div>
<div>
It was blazing hot and snowmen don't belong in June.</div>
<div>
Just like a 7-year-old doesn't belong in a shrink's office.</div>
<div>
I mean, Claudia was nice.</div>
<div>
Anyway-- I furrowed my brow,</div>
<div>
threw the snowman away,</div>
<div>
threw my hands in my pocket</div>
<div>
and kept em there.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now I follow trends. </div>
<div>
I had a Tomagatchi.</div>
<div>
I wore silly bands.</div>
<div>
I uSeD tO uPdaTe mY StaTus liKe tHis.</div>
<div>
I have an iPhone.</div>
<div>
I use Instagram.</div>
<div>
I peg my jeans.</div>
<div>
I wear Alex and Ani.</div>
<div>
I'm a product of my environment.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
That snowman in June was no product of his environment.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But he ended up in the trash,</div>
<div>
so kiss it goodbye</div>
<div>
and conform.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
xx</div>
<div>
Sonny Jean</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-13620790497277331912015-01-30T14:26:00.001-08:002015-01-31T10:05:01.357-08:00The poem I'll never deliver <span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">And I hope one day</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">I don't see your face in every boy I meet.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Because I know in a sea of people,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">You were never looking for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">xx Sonny Jean</span><br />
<br />
<br />
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Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3063765616766764488.post-47801474351308709412015-01-23T15:15:00.000-08:002015-01-23T15:15:36.406-08:00Trivial Pursuits<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> Hey, Sonny Jean here. Nelson said I should make this dope, or you probably wouldn't be back. I'll try my best to make you stay.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">What you see is not what you get, because you're staring into a computer screen. I am not a computer screen. I am a human being, but more than that. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I am my thoughts.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">My assumptions.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I am my excuses and reasons.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I am my questions and quirks.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Oh, and this?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">This is about my parents' expectations and my bad driving record.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">This is about where I go during lunch and why I don't like choosing partners.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">This is about the 10% of my brain I use and how</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> half of that was destroyed</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> stressing over the ACT and </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> the other half</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> dedicated to solving other people's problems.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">This is about beginning to solve my own too. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Like why the pages of my notebooks are full of </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> unrequited love poems and </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> the childhood I've nearly forgotten.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Or why I can't throw food away, or</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">the way I hold on to</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> every single note </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> ever written to me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I am my questions, like</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> <i>Why didn't God make me a singer?</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><i> </i><i> </i>and</span><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> Is ignorance really bliss?</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> </span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">These are trivial pursuits, I tell you,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">but they make up who you know as </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> Sonny Jean.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Not a computer screen.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> Eyelashes;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> Lungs;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> Breath;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> Pores;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> Pupils;</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> Lips.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">xx</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Sonny Jean</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> </span>Sonny Jeanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04415472551637044338noreply@blogger.com13